Being pregnant and having children for the better part of the last three years, so much of “me” has been sat by the wayside, waiting for me to return to it. And I’ve totally stood it up, and just continued moping about, at times into a deep depression state in which I become angry, scared, accusatory and just a downright bitch to those I love and hold dear.
I’ve decided enough is enough, and it’s time to change. It’s time to re-find some of the joy I had in my life before. I’m not saying my kids don’t bring me joy, because they certainly do – they’re the most joy-inspiring things in my life – but I need to have an internal source. No-one likes being leached off, my kids included, and I shouldn’t need to rely on them for my happiness. That shit needs to come from inside.
I’ve started by purchasing and filling out Leonie Dawson’s 2015 Create Your Shining Year workbook. I have purchased this in the past but my heart wasn’t in it the first time, and the second time I was so busy with a baby Lily that I completely forgot about it. But here it is: my commitment to making, reassessing and ACHIEVING my goals in 2015.
I am letting go of worrying about money. It serves no purpose and the stress gets in the way of solving the problem.
I will spend more time outdoors attuning and communing with the earth.
I will spend more time with myself through meditation and reading.
I will find my purpose – my reason for being, that which makes my soul sing.
I will blog more, journal more, just write more. Expression promotes expression. Opening my heart into words will help me through dark times, and allow me to remember that which makes me happy.
I will not forget about me.