Passion.

I’m not talking about romantic passion, or even passion for another person full-stop. I’m talking about the passion you have for someTHING. A project, a hobby, a cause. anything.

I’ve struggled with this for the last 12 months or so. It is probably due to having children – you live your lives for your kids, and rarely for yourself – but other than my children, I don’t have a passion. I crochet and knit, but haven’t done either extensively for a few months now, and certainly don’t *LOVE* it.  I enjoy it, it’s a good wind-down and relaxation process, but not a love.

I used to love designing and coding websites in my spare time, but since doing it for a business, I’m not enjoying it as a passion any more.  As the businessy stuff has come in, it’s really taken the joy out of it. I’m not afraid to admit that – I still like doing it, but I’m not as passionate about it as I used to be.

My kids are my main reason for being, but of course there’s no inward focus when it comes to caring for others.

I feel like I’ve lost who I am – I love spirituality and spiritual experience, I love dance, I love freedom.  But none of these things I can do fully for any extended amount of time right now.  I guess I’ll have a “reawakening” in a few years when the kiddos are off to school :/